“In everything you do, always follow your heart, Darling.” This famous line is what my mom always reminds me every time I have to make decisions. But it’s not always the case when dealing with your child. I realize this with Shayna- my lovely daughter. I really wanted to always say “Yes” to any of her desire because I’m afraid to make her sad and upset. I’m thinking that my job as a parent is to always make my little angel happy. ALWAYS. But what about the limit and rules as a way to discipline a kid? I’m aware that when we keep on saying “Yes” to our kids’ requests, it might lead her to become a spoiled brat and dependent in the future. Of course, not all people can deal and understand brats. Therefore, I practiced saying “No” to her request as a way to develop her understanding and discipline.
Let me show some of my ways of dealing the “No” when my heart says “Yes” to my kid:
“Can I go outside Mom, please?”
I’m doing some housework when my little angel approached me with hopeful eyes begging to let her go outside and play. I know that if I won’t let her, those hopeful eyes will turn upset. Of course, as a mother, it breaks my heart to see my kid looks sad. But I need to say no to that request because it’s dangerous to let her play outside since we are living on a highway. I explained that it’s not safe to play outside and Mama don’t like her to be in danger. She smiled and I hugged her. I know she understands. Yeah, this is the first request that I turned down but I’m not disappointed with the outcome because I was able to let her feel that I love her so much, and saying “no” means not letting her in danger. My “no” was not misunderstood by my little one and I’m happy with that.
“Can I eat this food?”
Most kids really like junk foods. The colors and texture make it appealing to kids. Before, I let Shayna eat junk foods because she really likes it so much. But the health consequences of junk foods is not an unknown fact to us. How can we refuse to our kid requesting the food that they like so much? Moms sometimes need to be the best actress with a pretending role for kids. Well, in my case, I showed her that I’m eating chips then afterward, I acted as if I had a terrible stomachache. She asked me, “Are you okay, Mom? What happen?.”
“Ohhh, Mom got a terrible stomachache because of eating junk food.”
I showed her the effect of eating junk food. I told her that if she will continue to eat it, she will be sick and I will be worried and sad. This was my “creative” way to show her that eating junk foods is not good for them. Absolutely not. Through this way, I saw her sense of empathy. She doesn’t like to eat junk food anymore because she doesn’t like me to be worried and sad like what she felt when she saw me “suffering” from a stomachache.