When I realized that I was pregnant with my first daughter, it was the best feeling I ever had. I started imagining how her face would be like and the characters she would resemble. In fact, I even started drawing her face in my diary book because of excitement. Unfortunately, all that changed after the first trimester and heaven broke loose. I started hating myself, had depression, got overwhelmed by fear and felt ashamed of talking about my baby. I would go into hiding and start crying; I was ugly and unlovable. Arguing with my husband over petty things became part of our life because I started suspecting he was unfaithful. At some point, I even regretted conceiving my daughter. When I gave birth to my daughter, I immediately realized that something was not right. She was very adorable but although I wanted to hold her tight, I could not. I realized that the hatred that I had for the six months during pregnancy did not go away because I had no emotional attachment towards her. At first, I thought the nurses had exchanged my baby with someone else’s, but my husband assured me that he was there all through and she was our baby. We were discharged and went home hoping that the feeling would go away soon enough. At home, I realized that my daughter would not sleep for long hours. She spent most of the time crying because she had no one to embrace her. I was deprived my sleep because I spent most of the time breastfeeding and attending to her. I felt like they tortured me because I used to sleep more than ten hours before I gave birth. I became more sunken, withdrawn and tired fearing for my death and that of my girl. My days were shuttered and full of disappointments. There were days when I had hallucinations that I had killed my child using a knife and my husband would bring her to me to prove that I had not harmed her. Moreover, I had suicidal thoughts, and this made my husband quit his job to take care of me. I consider that period to be the worst period of my life because I could have lost my loved ones.